Sunday, March 01, 2009

Birthday Apologies

My birthday was yesterday, February 28. I am now 27 years old and am certainly feeling older than I was.

Last night, I experienced something I had never experienced before -- and apparently, in the experience, I upset some of my friends and people I care about.

I have always said that I don't get drunk. Almost everyone who has ever partied with me knows this -- and most people will vouch for me, as I can generally go drink for drink with them.

But I guess I was wrong, because last night, I was not well. Maybe it was the mixing of alcohol types, maybe it's that last week I only slept a total of 7 hours and so my system was weak, but whatever it was, I experienced what everyone else has been talking about. And I didn't like it.

And in my first REAL omg-I-drank-so-much-that-I'm-sick experience, which was quite embarrassing, I found that I hurt some of the people who attended. (I did get sick recently once before this -- but I wasn't drunk. I just didn't feel well in general... this time, I was completely gone.)

It came across that I didn't care people had come to celebrate with me because I often wasn't in the party room with everyone. I stayed outside of the room for the majority of the time... either sleeping at the table outside, sitting on the bathroom floor, and for a time, was in another room altogether as a friend of mine was having a going-away party since he flew out today to move to the mainland, never to return. I also worried people and inconvenienced those who decided to take it upon themselves to take care of me.

I want people to know that I did appreciated that you were there to celebrate with me. And that I'm sorry for my non-presence, both physically and mentally.

There is no excuse in what is or isn't done when under the influence, even though what's said and done isn't in right mind. So, I will not make excuses for anything I did or didn't do that may have upset my friends and loved ones.

Instead, I'm just going to say I'm sorry for upsetting, worrying, hurting you and I love you.

/me.

1 comment:

Kaeo Kepani said...

Ohh, Monchalee, I know all too well the feeling.

Your story was totally the case for my 22nd birthday. I drank lots. I didn't want to be a snob and deny the drinks my friends were buying me...so I drank. The night turned fuzzy before we even left the restaurant and after that I only remember little chunks of the rest of the night.

Usually I to can go toe-to-toe with any of my friends and their alcohol (and in one case, two of them at once) and manage to carry myself home..but its just something about birthdays that make the special.

Your friends love you and they'll be there for you when you need them. They will understand that you were enjoying your time on your birthday which is the one day everyone else takes care of you.

I don't know what happened, but at least you got to spend it with the people you care about.

~kaeo

PS. Happy Birthday. ^_^