I began writing this blog and Kira managed to walk across the keyboard and delete the majority of it permanently. This will just add to the frustration behind the post, I'm afraid.
As I was saying, one of the things I find most frustrating is when I cannot find an outlet for my emotions. Generally, blogging would be the most obvious way for me to find release, but unfortunately, not everything can be talked about on a public forum for fear of possibly severe repercussions.
This is one of the topics that I can't blog about. And it sucks. If you ask me about it in person, I may explain it to you. I may not.
In high school and at the beginning of college, before the blog really existed or took off, I used to write poetry. Tons of it. All the time. That was my way of expression. Now, I don't write nearly as often as I'd like to. I don't have that kind of creativity in my blood anymore. No passion for it. But on occasion, I do write poetry. And I still post it online. Just not here. Not in this blog. I have another blog, also linked to my personal site on which I post just my poetry. You can find it here or go to my site and click on Expression. I most recently posted there last month.
I think I'm going to change that, though. I'm going to include my poetry here since this is the more often read forum. Maybe through a more metered form of expression, I can still write about the un-writable and pray that it is vague enough to let me off the hook.
So here it is. It has no name and it has no dedication. Just an expression of my frustration.
brand new, like dew in the early morning
trying hard to blend in, chameleon conforming
conform to unbending, to ignored and broken
ignored's two-faced smiles support, voice unspoken
complaints to unbending. chameleon pushes
rising up and onward beyond its own bushes
ignoring what's two-faced and breaks its own branches
while leaves surround and in hushed whispers dances
congratulates chameleon for blending right in
right in the same breeze, while ignoring self-sinning
leaves rustle loudly, but chameleon aloof
incapable of showing loud leaves the truth
continues to meld as dew turns to darkness
hopes unbending sees chameleon as leaves' hidden target
targets chameleon for turning color so well
chameleon thinks leaves should all go to hell