Friday, April 01, 2005

Zanzabar

I meant to write about this incident last week... but told myself that I'd wait until I wasn't as irritated with the man in question before I wrote this entry. It would seem, however, that it doesn't matter and the man finds ways to irritate me even when he hasn't spoken directly to me in over a week.

This man is none other than the previously mentioned Poopy Head. If you're an avid fan of my blog, you'll remember him as the man that bitched me out for trying to make him a website for KZOO. Well, his "I know all" mentality has outdone itself again, and he managed to completely embarass Kanzaki and myself at what would have been a potentially prosperous meeting.

The idea: Poopy Head pitched an idea to Zanzabar, a higher-end dance club/bar in Waikiki. The idea? To host an Asian night with KZOO providing the 'experienced djs' and the danceable Jpop.

The reason: To get KZOO's name out there.

While this, in and of itself, isn't the worst idea... and in fact, might have been a great idea, it is the following part of the story that showed Poopy Head for the head full of poop that he is.

Poopy Head made an offer to Kanzaki, saying that if he provided the music and djed at Zanzabar, that he'd receive $150/night for his efforts. Multiply this by 4 Friday nights and hey, that's a $600 inflow for the otherwise overworked and underpaid Kanzaki. Now, Kanzaki being the ever-loyal and sharing friend that he is [and perhaps because he was truly hesitant about doing the gig by himself] he invited me to join him in the djing endeavour and offered to split the profits 50/50. Awfully generous chap, him.

Anyway, our concern was this: when Zanzabar asked for djs, did they mean true club djs who could actually mix? Or did they just want someone to push play on the CD deck? Of course, we posed this question to Poopy Head, approximately A THOUSAND [or ten] times, and time and again, without listening to our reasoning, he assured us that he knew the dealio and that we should rest easy since all we would have to do is bring in the tunes and press play. No biggie.

Still hmming and hawing as to whether we wanted to do it, because somehow, we couldn't believe that Zanzabar would pay ANYONE $150 to press play and then stand there to look pretty, we went with Poopy Head, his wife, and Mosquito Yamazaki, another KZOO dj, to Zanzabar for what Poopy Head said would be "training."

Now, when Kanzaki and I heard the word "training," we again were struck with terror at the thought that perhaps Poopy Head was mistaken [as we know, it wouldn't be the first time] and that mixing was more than just an expectation. We walked in and met "Frankie," long-time Zanzabar DJ. Mosquito, Poopy Head and his wife left after a mere 10 minutes of flapping their jaws and left the two of us, unsuspecting victims that we were, to "learn."

Frankie was nice. When he met us, he was cordial and actually excited to be trying something new for the club. But as he continued to question us about our expertise and experience in djing at a club, and as we watched him mix with looks of absolute horror and amazement, he made the comment that we were "scaring" him. He soon realized that we knew absolutely nothing about mixing or djing outside of radio and was at a loss for what to do with the two gawking kids that were left behind to rot behind the turntables. He stopped talking to us. We thanked him and left.

He had made several very good points, though: it takes time to learn to mix, you need equipment to learn, and you need practice, practice, practice. We had 2 weeks from that time to prepare ourselves.

As Kanzaki was driving me home, he called Poopy Head and proceeded to tell him that, beyond a doubt, there was no way in hell we could pull it off unless Poopy Head bought us the mixing equipment and we practiced like crazy. Of course, Poopy thought we were overreacting, insisting that we were just nervous, and that if we needed to practice [which we shouldn't need to do because, according to him, it's "just pushing play"] we could use the recording studio at the station. He would neither listen to reason, nor could he understand the extreme embarrassment we'd experienced, or that "mixing" equipment is NOT the same as an equalizer, a couple of CD decks, and the ability to crossfade. He did not, would not try to comprehend our position. He told us to get back to him about whether we wanted to do it or not.

But, hadn't we just done that? *le sigh* Anyway, as an update to the story, though I don't know all the details... Kanzaki and Poopy Head had a big blow up about the whole thing the other day. Apparently, Poopy Head finally realized that we had no intentions of doing the gig, since we didn't think that we could pull it off successfully. [I mean, hey, NO publicity for the station is better than SHIT publicity, any day, imho.] INSTEAD, he wanted to implement plan B: forcing Kanzaki to provide the tunes and then having the Zanzabar DJs spin them. Kanzaki said no, quite forcefully, and apparently used the words FUCKING and PORKY somewhere in the conversation with Sir Poopy Head. More updates as they become available...

3 comments:

Isabo said...

you should go kick his asses. since he's full of so much poopy, he must have a bunch of asses. I bet you could even find people to pay you to kick his asses!

bigbikkuri said...

I look forward to part three of the Poopy Head Procession.

Oh - and give me the email for some spam-o-rama. ( I love -o-rama, it is so lame, but sooooo sweet at the same time)

PJ;) said...

Hey Love,

If you decide to try your hand at mixing or djing again, give me a ring. I got two turntables, crossfader, misc. dj stuff. What can I say, I'm Filipino. Poopy Head does need a beat down. Remember, it's not assault if you don't get caught.