Thursday, February 24, 2005

KZOO Rant

So I do believe that I've been back in Hawaii for almost 2 months. Still no real job, since KZOO is FAR from a real job.

For studio work, KZOO pays me minimum [$6.25/hr], and if I'm LUCKY, I get 4 hours or so every 2 weeks. If you do the math, that's about 25$ every 2 weeks. Granted, it's money and I'm grateful for it, but in this day and age, that doesn't buy much. Hell, that's less than a tank of gas these days. I was hoping, when I first got back, to team up with Kanzaki and co-host an evening Jpop show with him, but that seems to be bellyflopping badly. It seems that KZOO is moving away from Jpop [despite its former "Hawaii's #1 Stop for Jpop" motto. I suppose, since KZOO is one of the only Japanese stations, that the motto may still hold true... but, realistically, maybe not. So... at least, for the time being, that Jpop show is a no go. That blows. KZOO blows. And it's all, imho, due to the incompetency of one that we will label SHIT POOPY HEAD--> [i.e. KZOO-keeper head cheese man]. -_-;;

The man inherited the station from his late father. He runs it along side his wife. He has no experience running a radio station. He's pig-headed. Hard-headed. Proud. Egotistical. Egocentric. Unreliable. Cheap. Frightened of taking chances. Forked-tongued. And running KZOO into radio hell. [Actually, the list continues... but...]

Case in point. The Website Horror Story.

Remember how I said I was also doing the website for KZOO? Well, here's the 411 with that pain in the ass project. Originally, I stupidly had an oral agreement with him that when I produced a satisfactory, professional website for KZOO, he'd hand over $500. [On a sidenote, for the kind of work I've been doing, since I do graphics and all, at the very CHEAPEST, a professional web designer would charge $5000 if they were licensed, and $1500 if they weren't.] I asked him for his ideas about pages, designs, colors, content, etc. Everything he mentioned was conflicting, unprofessional for a company page, and were things that he said other ppl had told him. Ok...so that went no where.

I decided to make 4 layouts as possible templates. I submitted them. Who knows what he thought about the layouts... something about palm trees... but anyway, in the end, I was told to create a site based on a template I'd made of koi [carp]. Ok. So, working with NOTHING that he gave me, doing all content from my head and whatever literature I could find, whatever, I spent forever creating a beta version of the KZOO koi-theme site. Submit. Rejected. Why? "The koi don't really have anything to do with KZOO." Ok... so, I turn the question back on sir Poopy Head: "So, what images represent KZOO?" No straight answer. SO I explain to him that it's up to him, but I reminded him that, as a professional page, what matters most is content and consistency-- not blaring colors and flashing pictures that slow down the page.

Everytime I asked him for input, information, I received nothing but contradiction and a waste of my time. He'd ask me to come in so we could talk about it... and then there'd be no talk. Ok, so then he mentions that perhaps a theme based around the studio board would be ok. I made the beta version of that site [it's actually a REALLLLLLLY nice layout.

Enter: the STUPIDEST POOP HEAD IN THE HISTORY OF EXISTENCE Chapter.

One day, he asks me to come in so that we could solidfy the plans for the page. I was working anyway, and I was to meet him after my shift. Shift ends. He's busy on the computer and doing whatever the hell it is he's doing... he claims its 'stuff for me'... but, whatever. I wait for an HOUR, talking story with his wife. I mention the numbers given to me re: a professional site's fees, but not because I was asking for that much, but rather, because I was trying to confirm whatever he was paying me. I also showed her the new layout that I'd made, using the studio board as a theme. All the people who see it, think it's a sweet design, but that's beside the point.

So, then we show it to Poopy Head. He says how he wants to cut out the right half of the board, and fill it with a collage of Hawaii pictures. While I whole-heartedly disagreed with him, I told him that if HE told me EXACTLY what pictures he wants there, that I'd do it. I reminded him to think of the overall color scheme, saying that, "ME, coming from a PROFESSIONAL and ARTISTIC standpoint, that the color scheme of the page HAS TO match the title bar." He, being the grand poobah that he thinks he is, gets red in the face saying "it doesn't HAVE to... you're just SAYING it does." He said that my idea for the site could be for the corporate PAGE of the site, but that he wants this and this to change everytime you load it, or whatever. I then reminded him of consistency. He threw that out the window. I asked him about content for whatever pages. He gave me nothing again. And THEN, after I'd waited over an hour for us to discuss the page, he finally says "You know what, I don't have time for this. I have to go. We'll discuss it tomorrow." He cancelled the meeting the next day.

Ok. I take a deep breath and walk out. I'm sitting in the car, just about to put the key in the ignition when I get a call from him on my cell. Poopy Head demands "What did you tell my wife?" and he refers to something about numbers... So I warily explain to him that, while I was making conversation, I inquired about my rate and in the process, mentioned professional fees. He blows up, raising his voice at me, saying "Look, I told you before, don't talk to ANYBODY about the page. They don't know nothing. I don't give a SHIT about anybody else or what they think about it! If I want their opinion, I'll ask for it myself! You know, I told you you were getting paid $500 for the site. You know, before you, I was going to have someone else make the site and they were going to host it too, but because you're Kanzaki's friend, I thought I'd give you a chance since he told me you make sites. If you don't want to do this, I can go to them." Anyway, that's the general gist of it....

I nearly blew through the roof. How DARE he? How FUCKING EGOCENTRIC and BULLHEADED can a POOPY HEAD be?!? I sucked it up and told him that if he wants to go with them, then he should and that I can't do anything without his cooperation. And I left it at that. Which is really fucking big of me, since my TRUE reaction was as such:

"Look. You can say what you wish and threaten as you wish, but when it comes down to it, you're getting more than a deal on this site. You're getting professionalism. You're getting artistic ingenuity. You're getting a person who understands a lot of your demographic, as I am a MEMBER of that demographic, who understands that a website is a marketing tool, and that one must cater to the AUDIENCE, not to oneself. You're getting someone who is putting aside her own ideas, against her better judgement, because you cannot see past the tip of your nose. You can't see past the person in the mirror. You cannot see that there are people who care about this station, not because of YOU, but because there was a legacy that was set down by your father and it is for his MEMORY'S sake that they stay with this company. NOT for YOURS. You cannot see that, for this endeavour to be successful, you need to put aside YOURSELF and think of it as a WHOLE. But... it doesn't matter, since, as long as you get your way while still ripping off the talent by paying them not much more than minimum, and as long they're nice enough to put up with your self-indulgent bullshit, you'll never change. Hell, you may never change since the 60% of former employees who quit when you came into power didn't even strike a chord with you. But remember, that when KZOO goes down in flames, it'll also be all about YOU. YOUR incompetence. YOUR egotism. YOUR FAULT. Have a nice day." [click.]

Unfortunately, I don't have the balls to say that when I don't have another job to back me up. Sucks. Perhaps I'll paste it on the website, if I ever finish it. Hell, even if I never finish it, I should make a version of it specifically for that purpose.

That's a good idea, no?

And PS... no, I haven't gotten paid for ANY of the work I've done re: the site. Not even a retainer. Do I expect one if I don't pump out a finished product? No. Because Poopy Head would do anything to save a buck, and that includes defenestrating his soul so that he can maintain his self-appointed image as KZOO God.

Thank you for reading.

1 comment:

bigbikkuri said...

Dude, seriously wack and lame story. I'd call the Hawai'i fatty-sumo-reject gang or whatever and have them sit on his head on a hot day after a lunch of triple chili cheese dogs.

BUT - you got to use defenistrate - which I think, makes it all worth it :-)

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