Last night I went to a 銭湯 with Takurou. The kanji there is sentou, which equals PUBLIC BATH. We went to a place called しあわせの湯. Shiawase no yu. Means "happy hot water" basically. Twas good. And no, despite what you might be thinking, he didn't invite me to a place where the sexes go in together. The sexes were separate. And you know, I find that I'm still ok with being nekkid in front of a bunch of women [and the occasional little boy]. The only thing that was a little unnerving was the whole fact that I have a tattoo since it clearly states on a sign before I entered that tattoos were not welcome. I've been kicked out of places like that before... but I didn't try to hide it. I figured that since my hair is waist-length now, it hid it ok... except, you know, for when i put my hair up in the towel so that my hair doesn't trail in the water.
Thankfully, I was only approached about it by two curious older women. The convo sort of went like this:
"Oneechan, what is that?"
"What is what?"
"That thing on your back."
"What is it of?"
"Sonkei no son [i.e. honor/respect, a lotus, and flames]"
"Did it hurt?"
"No, not at all."
"Are you Japanese?"
"No, I'm from Hawaii."
"Hawaii? But you're not fat."
"Do you know Akebono? He's fat. And his mother? She's fat too. Aren't all people in Hawaii fat?"
"No, but there are many bigger people."
"Oh, I see."
[btw, I'm 60 kg now which puts me at 132 lbs and that's MUCH lighter than I was in Hawaii this past summer!] That's sort of where it stopped. Thankfully. If they had wanted, they could have gone to complain to the staff and had me kicked out. Thank goodness for speaking Japanese and being able to explain myself. I think it's the "I'm from Hawaii" bit that did it. We stayed for about an hour.
Afterward, we went to rent a video. Queen of the Damned, since I hadn't seen it. On the way driving to my place to watch it... Takurou says "This will be my first time watching a video with a girl." And I went o_O. Eh? So I commented that I'd been just watching vids with guys for as long as I can remember [or you know, since middle school or something]. And he's like, "yeah, but that has no meaning... this will be the first time watching a video with a girl and there's just the two of us." And again, I was like o_O;;. So, I said "Yeah, Japanese people and Americans are really different, huh..." Lol. I'm not sure what that really meant. Maybe that it's normal for guys and girls to watch a vid together with no implications. And btw, Queen of the Damned is a shitty movie. My bad for picking that one, but I'd been meaning to watch it since it came out-- you know my obsession with vampires. Well, I guess that's it.
Oh... and I was thinking lately... you know, I have no dreams. Yoshi was talking to me about that lately. What do I want to do with myself? What do I enjoy? I don't know. What do I want to be? I say that I'm trying to find a job in Japanese media, but it seems that I'm just trying to do that because it's a goal... not necessarily cuz that's what I really want to do. I was good at my job when I worked with North Shore... Michelle cried when I left and even the exec producers and the 2nd in charge of FOX [FOX VP] were bothered by the fact that I left... but I wasn't extremely happy there either. I have no real ambitions other than to be happy. But I can't seem to be happy when I'm 1... alone... and 2... not content with my current position. I feel like such a failure. I went to college... went through the motions... and still I have nothing. I don't have a direction I want to go in. Sigh. And Yoshi kept saying "I can't help you cuz I don't even know what you want. What you like. The only thing you can do is start dreaming again." ...You know, I don't know how. If I *knew* how, I would. Ya know? *sigh* I donut. (o) Poo. Any suggestions? If so, lemme know.